I'm 28, er, 29. Honestly, ever since I turned 21, I kind of stopped caring about my age, however, I've been really really thinking hard this morning, and I think I'd like to go to college and become a psychiatrist, or at least a psychologist.
The thing that scares me the most about going to school is the idea of missing out on my girls' childhoods.
I don't have the mental fortitude, or willpower to be away from them very much, so being away at school while our tiny is learning to walk just breaks my heart.
I've always wanted to start a business or start some sort of passive income generator, but the truth is, out of all the attempts I've made, none have worked out so far so I'm still working.
My youngest daughter just turned two months old, and I've been working since she was three weeks old.
My grand ideas of having a business and being able to spend time with my girls is taking quite some time, so I guess, if I'm going to be gone, multiple days every week, I might as well be going to school for something that can lift us up out of poverty.
I know my Aspie brain is pretty cool, and I know that with the right support, I could be doing pretty advanced math, but, I'm perpetually the 9 yr old 4th grader who was put in special ed math for crying.
Yes, I do see it as a punishment. Yes it did stunt my math abilities, and yes, I would probably have done the same if I were my teacher.
After all the panic attacks and suicidal thoughts I had because of elementary school, I really wish there was a way to magically have gone to school.
I do wish I'd learned what I wanted to be with everyone else, when we were still round-faced, 20 yr old kids.
But I take this joy I've found in life and wrap it around me like a big, fluffy blankie.
It's time. Wish me luck.
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