Don't You Wish?

    "Don't you wish one of your girls was a boy?"

    "Are you going to keep trying until you get a boy?"

    After I tell people I have four daughters, I get these questions a lot. A LOT.


    "Don't you want to know what it'd look like if you had a boy?"
    I know what a boy would look like. He'd look just like his sisters because they look so much alike, people ask me if they are twins.

    My husband and I horrified everyone after my first pregnancy by not expressly wanting a boy.
    Why does everyone care so much?

    "Are you hoping for a boy this time?"
    Everyone asked that, everyone, with my second, third and fourth daughters.

    "We really don't care what gender it is. We love all our babies." This was our very, very honest response.

    Honestly, why? Why does gender matter so much? When my daughter smears peanut butter all over her tummy, would it be any less cute or obnoxious if she had boy parts instead? When they color or play with their fake food, or *gasp* even dolls!?! would it be any different?

   At 3 and under, absolutely not.


   Even my 10-year-old bookworm would not have been different if she was a boy. Maybe she'd wear different clothes, as a boy she could still be into her "unicorn pooping under a rainbow" t-shirt, maybe not, so I really don't understand why my deep affection for the four of my girls, despite their single gender is such a confusing and possibly slightly offensive idea. Why do I need to resent at least one of them for having the "wrong" gender?
    I really don't care if other women want "one of each." That's their thing. I just really don't care about gender.

   If we had had a boy instead of any of our girls, I would have loved him, just like I love our girls. Someday, when we have more room, we might have a boy, or adopt a boy and his boyness would have absolutely no effect on how much we loved him. Which would be heaps!